This morning when I woke up, I remembered a chapter from Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. He had a simple strategy for cultivating inner peace: Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank.

Carlson began his day by thinking of the people he felt grateful for and practiced this ritual as soon as he awoke. He explained that doing this little exercise reminded him to focus on the good in his life. “If you wake up in the morning with gratitude on your mind, it’s pretty difficult to feel anything but peace.”

With all the bad news in the world today Carlson’s advice is worth remembering. Wouldn’t we all feel better if, instead of starting our day by making a “to-do” list, we made a “to-thank” list?

I developed my own gratitude ritual many years ago. It evolved from a game my daughter and her friends played when they were in elementary school. Whenever the numbers on the digital clock came up all the same — 11:11, 4:44, or 2:22, for example, they would stop whatever they were doing, close their eyes and shout, “make a wish!”

This little game caught on with our whole family and long after my daughter left for college, we were still closing our eyes and making wishes. Then one day, in a moment of enlightenment, I realized that instead of wishing for something I didn’t have, it would be a much better practice to be grateful for what I did have. And from that moment on I changed my ritual. Whenever I see those numbers on the clock come up all the same, I take one minute to say out loud all of the things in my life I am grateful for.

The funny thing is that on a day when I might be feeling a little down, the mere act of expressing my gratitude for the roof over my head, my health care coverage, the rainbow in the sky, or the friend who just called, reminds me how truly blessed I am. I can feel a noticeable shift from negativity to appreciation.

I encourage you to try this simple ritual. Watch the numbers on your clock—in your car, on your cell phone, on your computer—and see if that minute of minfulness doesn’t lift your spirits and remind you that you have many reasons to be grateful.

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Mike Robbins’, Focus on the Good Stuff is a wonderful book, particularly for these challenging times. And with Thanksgiving coming, how do we keep from getting caught up in all the negative media and remember what we are thankful for?

In his well-organized book, Mike Robbins shows us how to move beyond the cycle of negativity to focus on what is working and what we appreciate about ourself, others, and the world around us. I found his simple yet powerful exercises so valuable that I copied several of the pages and pasted them near my computer.

Robbins talks about the pervasive environment of negativity in our culture and how our obsession with negativity causes us to turn it against others and ourselves. Then he explains the five Principles of Appreciation and finally how to put appreciation into action.

One of the first exercises is to determine which type of negativity are your “favorites” and how they impact your relationships. He poses some questions to ponder about self-criticism and gives a five step technique to transform your negativity.

Here are some positive practices I find helpful:

1. Create a “gossip-free zone.”
2. Go on a “complaint fast.”
3. Speak about yourself in a positive way.
4. Communicate your goals and vision in positive language.
5. Speak about what you want, not about what you don’t want.

My favorite chapter is “Acknowledge Others” because it’s one of the best things we can do to have a positive impact on the people around us. “People around us are starving for appreciation and acknowledgment,” he says, “and we have the ability to give them this gift on a regular basis and in a genuine way.”

But the most important form of appreciation is the most challenging—appreciating ourselves—because “all gratitude and appreciation begin and end with our opinion and perception of ourselves.” In this Fifth Appreciation Principle he gives specific steps on how to appreciate yourself and discusses that huge challenge so many of us have trouble with — accepting compliments.

If you’re looking for a great holiday gift that the recipient will truly appreciate, give this book. In fact, get one for yourself. It’s a quick read but what a powerful message!

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I’ve been hosting Thanksgiving for over three decades and I’m always looking for new traditions to share with my family. A few years ago I came up with one that’s fun for all generations. Go to a craft store and buy some paper fall-colored leaves. As your guests arrive and are awaiting the big meal, ask each one to take a leaf and write something they are grateful for on the leaf. Ask the youngest children, who don’t know how to write but understand the idea, to tell you what they’re grateful for and write it on a leaf for them. Tell them not to show it to anyone. Collect all the leaves in a basket and put them away until after the meal. After the dishes have been cleared, bring out the basket and pass it around the table. Let each person pick a leaf and make sure it’s not the one they wrote. Then take turns going around the table and ask each person to read the leaf she selected and try to guess who wrote it. You’ll have fun hearing what different generations write and you’ll instill a sense of gratitude in a light-hearted but purposeful way.

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