Are you tired of hearing the “R-word?” You know what I mean? Every blogger, columnist, and talk show host is talking them up this week—RESOLUTIONS! It’s the annual ritual we all indulge in for the month of January. Then when February rolls around, we get back to our lives and forget about them. I don’t mean to sound grumpy, but I just don’t think resolutions have the teeth that goals do. So several years ago I resolved to stop making New Year’s resolutions and start making New Year’s goals.

I guess you could say I’m a goal “junkie.” I’ve always got a goal I’m working on. I love thinking about the goals I want to accomplish, reading about goal-setting, and best of all, checking them off after I’ve accomplished them. I’ve even given talks on tips for setting SMART goals. Last January I wrote a post called “Setting Goals Not Making Resolutions” and gave some suggestions for setting goals that will strengthen the bonds with your grandchildren.
Well, I just discovered a website with a new take on “resolutions.” While reading an article on goal-setting in my January Toastmaster Magazine, my eyes went straight to the bold-faced URL of Gary Blair, the Goals Guy. His website is chock full of  goal setting tips, techniques and ideas. But what really got my attention was New Year’s Resolution Week, a week-long program Blair established in 2001 to help people begin the new year with focused goals, detailed plans, and firm commitments. He has cleverly incorporated goal-setting techniques into the New Year’s resolutions theme by providing practical and useful ideas to help us “passionately embrace the New Year with purpose and hope.”

Among the many resources on his website is a list of the “Top Ten New Year Resolutions” he compiled from a survey of over 300,000 responses worldwide. Number 1, I’m sure you guessed, is: “Lose Weight and Get in Better Shape” and  Number 10 is, “Get Organized.” For each of the ten resolutions he has a compassionate response and suggestion for approaching the challenge.

Blair is motivated by a big vision: for people to experience a compelling future for themselves, and in the process, create a brighter vision for future generations. I couldn’t agree more. He understands that setting a resolution and then actually achieving it requires focus, accountability, persistence, and personal integrity. (Sounds a lot like the formula for goals.) He provides a “resolution contract” to help readers commit to their own personal resolutions along with a plan of action for achieving them.

So go ahead, make those 2010 New Year goals or resolutions, whatever you want to call them, we’re in a brand new month, year and decade and the possibilities are endless.

Good luck!

So we’re twelve days into the New Year! How are your resolutions going? We all make them—it’s part of the New Year’s tradition. We’re determined that this fresh New Year is the perfect time to resolve to do something that will leave us “better” or “different” than last year. The problem with resolutions is that they’re usually vague and end up abandoned by February or sooner.

So this year, instead of making New Year’s resolutions, set some goals—goals that will strengthen the bonds with your grandchildren. The secret of success in fulfilling goals is more about setting them up and writing them down than willpower and determination.  Sharing your goal with others, means you’re much more likely to accomplish it.

As a grandparent, you may set some goals for your relationship with your grandchild, but remember you need buy-in from the parents. Remember they are indispensable when it comes to having access to your grandchild. You may even want to sit down with your family and come up with some shared goals, for example, a three-generation family vacation or a family reunion.

When you write your goals, there’s a popular acronym for remembering the five essential qualities of a goal: SMART, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time Framed.

Specific

Nebulous wording makes goals confusing and overwhelming. Defeat sets in before you even start. Imagine that you say: “I will be a more involved grandmother.” There is no way to know if you reached this goal. But if you write, “I will send a letter to my granddaughter once a month,” or “Once a month I will learn one new song, story or game to teach my grandson,” then you will have a specific action that you must take each month and hold yourself accountable.

Measurable

There’s an old saying: “What gets measured gets done.” When you make your goal measurable, you’re able to see your progress. So instead of saying: “I’m going to spend more quality time with my grandson,” you could say: “I will take my grandson fishing six times this year” or “I will take my granddaughter to three new museums this year.” Goals also need to be meaningful to you. That just insures that the goal you’re setting is something you want to do and not something imposed by someone else. Ask your grandchildren if they’d like to set a goal that both of you could work on together like starting a collection.

Achievable

This doesn’t mean your goal is easy, but that you can have a good chance of accomplishing it, which again may mean getting buy-in from your grandchild’s parents. If your goal is to have your grandchild come for a sleepover, you’re obviously going to have to get permission from her parents. And that means establishing a trusting relationship with the parents from the very beginning. Sitting down with your adult children even before your grandchild is born and discussing your commitment as a grandparent creates a sense of trust and value in open communication that will be last a lifetime.

Realistic

Realistic also means that the actions associated with your goal are things that you can actually do. If your goal is to get together with your grandchildren every weekend and they’re involved in too many activities of their own, then you’ll either have to set your goal lower or find a way to observe or participate in their activities. If that’s not realistic, then think about another avenue for staying connected with your grandchildren. You could take a computer class to learn how to stay in touch through email. Focus on your strengths and interests and how you might be able to share those with your grandchildren.

Time Framed

Having a time limit will give your goals structure. If your goal is to establish an education fund for your grandchild, you need to figure out how much money you want to contribute and by when.

Setting goals is more than deciding what you want to do. It involves figuring out what you need to do to get where you want to go and how long it will take you to get there. Here are some general suggestions when setting goals:

• Get working on your goals right now while you’re motivated.
• Take small steps when making changes.
• Develop a ritual for reviewing and updating your goals.
• Look at them once a month to check your progress.
• Be flexible – expect that your plan can and will change.
• Recognize partial successes at every step along the way.
• Be a good listener and open to feedback about your goal.

As grandparents, we can expect to be around for more than three decades, according to U.S. life expectancy. Our relationships will evolve as we all grow older. By setting some goals to strengthen your relationships now, you will build the foundation for future bonds. So get SMART! Take out some paper and pencil and write down your goals for 2009.