I love the Lilith Fair—the women’s music festival co-founded by Sarah McLachlan that ran for three consecutive summers beginning in 1997. It was a summer ritual I looked forward to. I attended all three of them at Shoreline Amphitheatre in Mountain View, CA. Ten years ago, the 22,000-seat venue was packed with women and the feminine energy was as hot as the afternoon sun on the lawn seating area.

When I heard that Lilith Fair was making a comeback this summer, I called my GaGa buddy, Barb, and we both got lawn seats. This year’s tour still carries the message of female empowerment and community along with a loving layer of nostalgia. Shoreline was the sixth stop out of 23 dates around the country and featured McLachlan, Heart, the Bangles, and the hot new pop vocalist, Colbie Caillat.

Despite the low turn out, Lilith still had the magic that I remembered but on a more intimate level. For me it’s as much a social event as a concert. Instant friendships are made in the lines to get in which lasted over 90 minutes. People reminisce about who they saw ten years ago and speculate about this year’s line up. Then there’s the partying on the lawn as people stake out their spots and bring out their picnics.

Barb and I always opt for the lawn seats—not just because they’re cheaper—but because you can get up and dance. The weather was spectacular for our concert. All the people around us were splayed out on blankets, soaking up the afternoon sun. I noticed a group of women in front of us and one looked familiar. She was another GaGa who had just joined the GaGa Sisterhood a few months earlier! Lilith attracts all ages, from old hippies to young college coeds. When I was dancing to the Bangles, a young woman came down beside me and asked if she could dance with me!

When Caillat took the main stage, I walked down to stand at the railing behind the reserved seats and stood beside a young woman. She was singing along in such a beautiful voice she could easily have done back up for the performer. The Bangles had everyone up on their feet when they sang “Manic Monday” and “Walk Like an Egyptian.” But it was Heart—the sister act of vocalist Ann and guitarist Nancy Wilson—who really rocked the house with “Crazy on You.”

Sarah McLachlan closed the show and totally engaged the crowd with her personal, intimate style of chatting and singing. She brought the rest of the cast back for an encore of another classic rock cover, “Because the Night” by Patti Smith and Bruce Springsteen.

When Barb and I finally packed up our gear, we’d been rocking for ten hours. I left still feeling the glow of that magical day and the warmth of wonderful energy that women can create through music and community.

Last month I received an invitation from another grandma blogger named Lisa to be featured on the “Grilled Grandma” page of her blog: Grandma’s Briefs. Lisa became a grandma in 2008 and because her grandson lives 819 miles away, she decided to start blogging as a way to cope.

Lisa “grilled” her first grandma last October and features a new interview every week. A Grilled Grandma is simply a grandma who has answered some of her grandma-related questions, which she then shares with her readers.

Check out the Grilled Grandma feature for June 23 and you’ll see my answers.

One of the reasons I founded the GaGa Sisterhood was to create a community of like-minded women who could meet each other and make new friends. Friendship has always been an essential part of my life. I’ve  nurtured my friendships over the years and consider them the treasures of my life. But since I’ve become a grandma, I seem to have less time for my friends. Recently, one of our new members posted a question on our discussion board that generated many responses:

Are there other grandmothers who would like to expand their circle of friends? I am interested in movies, dinner, museums, walks, good conversation, and small explorations of the peninsula.

It’s Not Easy Finding Enough Time For Friends

As I followed the discussion, I wanted to join in but realized I barely have time for my old friends, let alone new ones. And my friends seem to be just as busy. Here’s an example of an email I received from a good friend. I asked her if she could talk to one of our members who’s daughter is going through a divorce.

Of course I’d be willing to talk to Linda—just not right now. Our life is CRAZY right now. Our son-in-law’s aunt and uncle are here from Sweden until Thursday. On Monday some former neighbors are coming to stay with us for two weeks. Tom’s (her husband) birthday is on the 18th and Father’s Day the 20th. AND, my favorite, of course, the kids and grandkids are on vacation for a week so we get both our granddog AND the dog they are watching for some friends, ALL WHILE THE OLD NEIGHBORS ARE HERE!!!!!

Another good friend I’ve known all my life wrote this email when I suggested a hike:

All of these exchanges got me thinking about the time we have for friendship and I discovered some discouraging statistics. A 2006 study from Duke University and the University of Arizona showed that Americans have almost one-third fewer confidants than they did in the 1980s, and that “ties are more family based.” Another disheartening statistic was that there are now twice as many people who report not having any close friends to share their problems with.

The Health Benefits of Friendships

Author and Wall Street Journal columnist Jeffrey Zaslow says, “A host of studies show that having a close group of friends helps women sleep better, improve their immune systems, stave off dementia and actually live longer.” He cites an Australian study that found women with more friends lived 22 percent longer than women with fewer friends.

Zaslow has become quite an authority on friendship. In 2003 he wrote a column on female friendship for The Wall Street Journal and knew that he’d touched a nerve when he received 300 letters and emails from women. He’d seen his daughters (now 13, 17 and 19) struggle with their friendships and knew how friendship can lead to great things. His column led to a book The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship published in 2009.

What he learned in studying these women is that people with stronger friendship networks feel like there is someone they can turn to. “Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of these studies is that friends make your life better.”