When Christene became a mom two years ago, she realized something was missing: grandparents for her daughter. Christene lost her father when she was 9, and her mother when she was 22. Besides wanting grandparents, she also longed for the mothering she didn’t have.
She searched online for an organization to help her find surrogate grandparents but couldn’t find one. So she decided to create one herself. Now Christene is finding a way to create the extended family she wants through an online community: SurrogateGrandparenting.com
I met Christene last winter after writing a blog post titled Parentless Parents Need Surrogate Grandparents. I was inspired by two emails from young moms who were looking for surrogate grandparents to “adopt” their family.
Surrogategrandparenting.com is a free service that matches “families with children of all ages whose grandparents are deceased, distant or otherwise unavailable due to incarceration, drug abuse, estrangement, etc. with responsible, healthy, independent, caring, older adults who would love to be a surrogate grandparent.”
On the website families can post their preference for the family they’re searching for in a members-only forum. There are five steps to joining the forum. The first is to register and become a member. All communication between member families on SurrogateGrandparenting.com happens through an “anonymous” email network. The names and contact information of all member families are kept confidential until the family decides to share the information.
Once you’ve registered, you can complete your profile and then post an announcement for the family you’re looking for—either surrogate grandparents or surrogate grandchildren. The site provides lots of helpful information for navigating the process of finding a surrogate family such as details on what to announce and what not to announce. There are also tips on how to contact a family once you see an announcement you like and even tips for meeting them. Christene emphasizes that all member families are strongly encouraged to trust their instinct as to who is right for their family. She also suggests you try a three-month “trial courtship” to see whether the match feels right for everyone.
I’m so excited to see the launch of this much-needed service and to watch it grow. I wish Christene the best of luck and look forward to reading about some of her successful matches.
I am 42 and about to have my second son in december,my other son is 20 months old.both my parents have died and my fiances mom has no interest in her grandchildren i live in colorado springs,i sure would love my children to have at least 1 surrogate grandparent
Parents and kids aren’t the only ones missing out. As a mother I had always looked forward to being a grandmother as my own children had such wonderful experiences with their grandma, but chances of that happening in my life seem slimmer and slimmer so this sounds like a great idea.
my husband & i have a granddaughter but we are not allowed to see or hold her or even have her for a day , so we wondered if there were any children that would like grand parents susan
It breaks my heart to hear that you are denied access to your granddaughter. How tragic that all of you are missing out on one of life’s great pleasures. I encourage you to keep hope that maybe your granddaughter’s parents will come around and realize their loss, especially for their daughter’s benefit.
Have you checked SurrogateGrandparenting.com. Launched in early 2010, this organization helps match families without grandparents to responsible, healthy, independent, caring, older adults who would love to be a surrogate grandparent.
Also, on your continent is RaisingGrandchildren
This is indeed an interesting idea, and I think that all children deserve grandparents, whether biological or surrogate.
There are many ways to be a family now. My parents are surrogate grandparents to one of my first cousins once removed, and three neighbor boys. You can really see how it helps these kids to have them around to teach them and love them.
I recommend “Eye of My Heart: 27 Writers Reveal the Hidden Pleasures and Perils of Being a Grandmother,” edited by Barbara Graham.
It’s a wonderful book that explodes a lot of myths about mothers, grandmothers and grandparents. I’ve read it too, in order to understand the perspective of the “Grands” in our family. I love it! It’s in paperback now.
Graham also has a column at grandparenting.com. It’s easiest to find the column through her websitewww.barbaragrahamonline.com.