Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey … Barbara Hoffman

I admit it—I am a world champion worry wart! My vivid imagination can take me on some pretty scary worry trips, if I let it.

For example, when I got home from a recent visit with my  granddaughters, I had an email from my daughter saying she’d spent the day organizing everything for their backpacking trip the next morning. By bedtime the seven-year old was sick with a sore throat and stuffy nose. They’d see how she was in the morning to decide whether to go backpacking.

Those Darn Negative Scenarios

I could hardly sleep that night imagining the possible negative scenarios. I won’t go into detail, but they involved the four-hour car ride to get to their destination and everyone coming down with a virus while they were off in the woods! And then there was my own fear about catching what my granddaughter had. We’d shared food and drinks at the airport the day before.

The next morning my granddaughter was better and they left as planned. Five days later my daughter called bursting with pride as she described their awesome adventure. The seven-year old carried her own backpack the entire 2.5 miles to their campsite. The three-year old walked the whole way without having to be carried, and their dog carried her own food in a saddle pack.

They had a fabulous time and at night when they sought refuge from the mosquitoes in their tent, they played  UNO with the cards I’d given them the previous week.

Now why couldn’t I have come up with any of these positive scenarios when I was wasting my time worrying? Because when we worry, we have conversations with ourselves about distressing things we anticipate happening. The key word here is “anticipate.” The worry is about something that hasn’t happened and may or may not happen. Worry is always about something imaginary. Something that doesn’t yet exist. Worry, in fact, is the process of becoming distressed about the nonexistent. Put in that perspective, worrying seems like a big waste of time.

How to Stop Worrying

I’ve found some useful strategies from an article by C.S. Clarke, PhD that have helped me break the useless cycle of habitual worrying.

Use thought-stopping. Simply say “Stop” in your mind. Mentally shout it, if necessary. Whenever you find yourself worrying, stop the dialogue this way immediately. This may sound too easy, but it really works!

Replace the worry dialogue with a practical dialogue. The events you are anticipating really might occur and you can’t waste your time stuck in the worry cycle.

Plan your most effective responses to the most probable future events. Determine if there is anything you can do right now to prevent or modify those events. Talk to yourself about what probably will happen.

If you can’t change the negative self-talk, choose positive mental images. Make up pictures that represent what you want to happen that oppose the pictures of what you fear will happen.

Make pictures of your desired responses to counteract your feared responses when you know the outcome is unpleasant.

On the 40th anniversary of Earth Day I have a simple suggestion for reducing waste and keeping the trees in the forest where they belong. Sign up for Catalog Choice, a free service that eliminates unwanted mail delivered to your home.

We used to walk out to our mailbox and find an armload of unsolicited catalogs. Since we signed up for Catalog Choice two years ago, we’ve stopped receiving them. There’s less waste of paper and nothing to recycle.

To sign up for Catalog Choice you fill out their online registration form using your name and primary mailing address. Your contact information will only be used for the purpose of honoring your mail preference. Next, you find and set mail preferences for your catalogs, using the Catalog Choice search facilities. Then they contact the catalog providers on your behalf, requesting that your preference be honored.

It can take at least twelve weeks to process your request, after which time your mail preference should be in effect. Results will vary depending on whether the company is actively participating in their service. All Participating Companies have pledged to honor your requests within 12 weeks. If you do continue to receive catalogs you requested not to, you can contact Catalog Choice and they’ll follow up with the merchant.

Catalog Choice benefits everyone. You benefit by reducing mailbox clutter and the amount of time you spend sifting through unwanted mail. Your participation benefits merchants by lowering their cost of distribution and helping them better target their market.

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Good riddance 2009!

I am so glad this year is over—especially this last week. I have not been out of the house for the past seven days. I’ve been trying to get over a cold and cough but everyday brings a new symptom. It began with laryngitis and now it’s settled in my head. I’ve just decided to surrender to it and give my body a rest.

Fortunately, I didn’t have any plans, so I could just stay home and “veg” in front of the television, something I rarely do. I’ve even watched some Bowl games with my husband for the first time in our 41 years together! I guess I’m mellowing in my old age because normally I’d be working on my goals for 2010. That’s been one of my rituals for the last week of the year. But I figure I’ll get to those goals when I’m feeling healthy and energetic again.

I’ve never liked this last week of the year. It’s always felt kind of isolating. Everything seems to slow down as we all wait for the holidays to pass and things to get “back to normal.”

Spending the past seven days in “slo-mo” has made me realize something: I’m very blessed to be able to be in my warm, comfortable home, drinking hot tea and reading a good book (Water for Elephants) as I try to recover. I haven’t had to worry about missing a week of work.  I’ve also discovered that it’s okay to forget about my “to do” list and just take the time to let my body get healthy again.

In some ways it seems fitting to end this dismal year without a lot of celebration and hoopla. My husband and I will continue our  New Year’s Eve tradition of cooking dinner together and then reviewing the past year. But we’ll both feel relieved when 2009 is finally over and hopeful that 2010 will bring relief to the many people who’ve suffered losses this past year.

Happy 2010! May your hopes be fulfilled and your dreams become realities. And let’s pray this decade keeps getting better with every year!

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